Life, Death, Love & Gratitude

Today I am overcome with an awe-inspiring experience of Gratitude. Last Sunday, a WISH family member made his passing -- a beloved father, husband and friend.

For the past two nights, his family held a vigil for him at their home -- in the 'old' way, the 'old' tradition. His body was laid out in a room that exuded the transcendent feeling of his spirit, so palpable at the time of transition. And rather than a funeral parlor, the home environment lent such a feeling of warmth, love and gratitude for all. Loved ones gathered in the living room and kitchen, sipping tea or eating snacks. Children played in the backyard where a beautiful creek ran down a small hill -- providing a gorgeous backdrop through the window of the room where our beloved made his transition . . . and where his friends and family could say their good-byes, offer spiritual readings, sing, chant, pray or meditate. Yes, there were tears. But there was also this amazing outpouring of love and gratitude -- even joy.

What a remarkable lesson for all present to witness -- and especially the children: death being embraced as a part of life -- rather than its antithesis.

This morning, our dear friend and her children will go through another transition as his physical body leaves their home to be cremated. In our extended WISH family, we are lighting candles in our own homes and offering prayers and meditation -- holding space for them.

Like so many, the death of a loved one ultimately brings me closer to, and more aware of, my spiritual path, beliefs and practices. Upon returning from the first night of vigil, I found that a friend, not knowing of this event, had synchronistically posted a quotation from the book that changed my life about five years ago, and broadened what I already considered a very broad spiritual perspective: The Disappearance of the Universe, a primer or "Cliff's Notes" for A Course in Miracles:

Death is symbolic of your illusory separation from God. What happens when someone you love appears to die? All of a sudden you're separate. You appear to lose them just like you appeared to lose God. But it's not true. You can't really lose them any more than you can lose God. You are inseparable. You cry when a body you love appears to die, but as the Course teaches you, it's really your experience of God and Heaven that you miss.

As I returned to this spiritual gem of a book, I found more inspiration:

You should look at the illusory death of your physical body as graduation day. It means you've gotten all you're supposed to get out of this particular, temporary classroom. The lessons have been learned! It should be a celebration. I assure you it will be a lot of fun. In most cases, if people knew what freedom from the body is like they wouldn't mourn the dead -- they'd be jealous.

God speed and many blessings to you, Doug. You will ever remain in the hearts of all those you touched and blessed with your presence. We are One.

Wrapping up the Year . . . Wrapping up Homeschooling?

How do you wrap up the year? How do you wrap up an entire 9 years of home education? How does this come to an end? Or does it?

Mentally, I have been preparing for this for well over a year. Noah has finished 8th grade and will be moving on to high school in the fall. It has been a big year: high school entrance exams, an interview, applications, etc. -- and this is just for high school -- not college!

And lots of soul searching, contemplation, inner reflection. Choosing high school over homeschooling was definitely a big decision. My husband and I and Noah had many conversations. But the theme that kept coming back to me again and again was the idea that opening and exposing Noah to other teachers, coaches, mentors is key to the next step in his growth. Since all of his brothers are "up and out" of the house, he is pretty much an only child at home. Yes, a parent can still lead a teen and do lots of research and find great resources, etc., etc., to point the student in some very positive directions. We just still felt that Jesuit High School was the best possible choice for Noah -- that this choice will make the biggest difference in his life for the long-term. Of course, having said all that, I am well aware that there are many homeschoolers who "try" high school . . . and then choose to homeschool again after a year or two. We will be taking everything one step at a time (or at least, one year at a time).

Next week, W.I.S.H. (Waldorf-Inspired Sacramento Homeschoolers) will hold its second "Eighth Grade Graduation" event. However, most of us have resistance to calling it a "graduation" event. We are still searching for a more apt term.

Because it is not necessarily about eighth grade -- or even about high school. (And of the five students participating in our little rite of passage ceremony, Noah is the only one who will be going to "regular" high school.) It is about this time in their lives when they are poised on a threshold. They are about to move into an amazing new phase of development.

According to Rudolf Steiner, some of the changes that are taking place include:

o The emergence of abstract thinking

o The expression of the inner life of the soul

o Directing of the conscious will

o And an awakening of the forces of judgment, criticism and antipathy

In essence, young people of this age are beginning to experience the power of their own thinking (in new ways – compared to when they were younger and lived much more in the realm of imagination).

Many of us can probably remember that feeling of this awakening awareness -- the power of our minds. And yet, the intellectual capacities of the 14-year-old are not yet fully developed; that will come in time over the next 7-year cycle.

So this is what we are celebrating, recognizing, affirming: these amazing young people on their way to becoming who it is they are to be. And we stand as a community -- surrounding them with our love and support; acknowledging them as individuals with unique capacities, skills, talents.


As well as exciting, all these changes can be a little (or a lot!) scary. As a community, this event shows them our support in their continued growth and development as they transition into this next phase. It truly is a remarkable time in their lives. I also see an aspect of this rite of passage as a ‘call’ to them to rise up to who it is they are and are becoming – to rise up and meet their new challenges, their new capacities . . with joy, enthusiasm and courage. And, I think it is important to say these things out loud—to acknowledge them—to “hold” them in the space of their friends, their family, their community.

So far, I am not teary-eyed. We'll see how I do next week. And then again in late August when Noah goes off to school. But again, I have been mentally preparing for this for quite some time. We've known for at least three years that Jesuit was a strong possibility. Last summer, Noah spent three weeks at their program for Junior High-aged boys -- so I got a taste of dropping him off and having him gone all day.

And what will I be doing while he is in school all day? Well, I joke a lot that I will continue to homeschool! I will continue running the program at Wholistic Learning Resources and have lined up more teachers and more classes -- expanding the program. I may also do a little substitute teaching and am lined up to teach some computer and business writing classes. I will be keeping busy . . . but definitely plan to work within the homeschooling world (and get to plenty of WISH park days to see all of our friends!). So although I may not change the name of my blog, I suppose I might have to change the descriptor a bit.

Home education has been an amazing journey. I think one of the greatest gifts is provides is TIME. Time for us to be together as a family. Time for Noah to simply "be." Time for him to learn WHO he is from the INSIDE. To my mind, this self-knowledge is perhaps the most important thing any of us can learn. And what he has gained has provided him with the best possible foundation for the next step on his journey. As I write this, I am reminded of a quotation that a friend of mine recently posted from an author that both of us admire:

"The idea that children need to be around many other youngsters in order to be 'socialized' is perhaps the most dangerous and extravagant myth in education and child rearing today." -- Dr. Raymond Moore

I have learned much more than I ever dreamed I would when we tentatively dipped that first toe in nine years ago. Home education has been one of the greatest blessings of my life and I am so grateful that we chose this path.